As the days shortened in August, we had a few cooler days in the last few weeks of the month. We can still get warm days in September, which I remember from high school. It was often a lousy end to the summer holidays, and then when we were back in a classroom, it was roasting!

To work through trauma, you have to revisit the trauma. That brings up old memories and body sensations from when you were in that traumatic moment. As a result, I have been looking at ways to look after myself in all aspects of my life.

I’m making many changes this year in many different areas, at least for this first part of it, and I will see if anything else changes later in the year post-therapy.

At the end of November 2022, I took a massive mental nose dive that scared me so much that I self-referred for more therapy then and there. I was at work that day, and my manager and colleague supported me, as always. We agreed that I would step back from sales and serving for a few weeks to observe them and see if I could pick up anything new to try when serving customers. Stepping back helped me a ton because it helped me gain a better perspective of things, both inside and outside of work.

This is where grace comes in. I CAN still do things, I just need to learn to do them in a different way or be open to doing them at a different time. I have an amazing support network through, friends, family and my church family. I really don't know where I would be if I didn't have my faith or church family over the last eighteen months.

I'm getting better at noticing when I’m hiding myself away and I have a few friends that check on me if they’ve not heard from me for a little bit. I think that it’s because my anxiety is rising and I’m feeling so overwhelmed by it that I can't deal with normal day-to-day things. So instead of dealing with and facing it, I avoid it. Which isn’t healthy and it certainly isn’t helpful.

I’ve struggled with the change in seasons from summer to autumn for many years and as a consequence, I’ve spent a long time trying to find ways to help myself with the autumn or winter blues.

One day a few weeks ago I was feeling undeniably triggered by some up and coming interactions I was needing to have. I may have been extra sensitive because of some changes going on at work, but either way, one day I ended up in tears. I was just so overwhelmed and unclear about what to do. So I cried. Then I journaled about what was coming up for me in those situations. I followed that up by texting a few friends who would help me at that moment and over the next few days on either side of one of the interactions I was dreading.