To work through trauma, you have to revisit the trauma. That brings up old memories and body sensations from when you were in that traumatic moment. As a result, I have been looking at ways to look after myself in all aspects of my life.

I’m making many changes this year in many different areas, at least for this first part of it, and I will see if anything else changes later in the year post-therapy.

At the end of November 2022, I took a massive mental nose dive that scared me so much that I self-referred for more therapy then and there. I was at work that day, and my manager and colleague supported me, as always. We agreed that I would step back from sales and serving for a few weeks to observe them and see if I could pick up anything new to try when serving customers. Stepping back helped me a ton because it helped me gain a better perspective of things, both inside and outside of work.

I'm getting better at noticing when I’m hiding myself away and I have a few friends that check on me if they’ve not heard from me for a little bit. I think that it’s because my anxiety is rising and I’m feeling so overwhelmed by it that I can't deal with normal day-to-day things. So instead of dealing with and facing it, I avoid it. Which isn’t healthy and it certainly isn’t helpful.

Today (Thursday) is my first day off after being back at work for three days and after two weeks off with tennis elbow, and I am shattered! I’d planned on running a few errands this morning but I woke up way early again for the third day in a row and my body is just not having any of it. Three 5.30 am wake ups in succession isn’t good for me, especially after two weeks of no alarms. I’ve had breakfast and watched a couple of YouTube videos and it’s now 8.07 am. I’m wanting to get a shower but I’m just far too comfy led on the sofa it’s gonna take me a bit to get up.