One day a few weeks ago I was feeling undeniably triggered by some up and coming interactions I was needing to have. I may have been extra sensitive because of some changes going on at work, but either way, one day I ended up in tears. I was just so overwhelmed and unclear about what to do. So I cried. Then I journaled about what was coming up for me in those situations. I followed that up by texting a few friends who would help me at that moment and over the next few days on either side of one of the interactions I was dreading.

We all know how crazy 2020 was and for someone like me who was already in a mental health dip, it was a very gruelling year. I know many people were in the same boat as me over the last twelve months, and now we have an enormous amount of boats surrounding us. There's almost too many to count.

So, I thought it might be useful if I shared some of the things that have helped me over the last twelve months as I've worked on my anxiety, depression and PTSD.

One of the main tools in my mental health toolbox that I've used for over thirteen years now, is to take it day by day. One day everything is amazing and then another day nothing is good, so it makes life easier to handle if we break it down into smaller chunks of time. In the last few weeks during this third lockdown, I've begun focusing on the day and week I'm in. Anything more than that and I'm far too overwhelmed.

I was inspired to write this post after something one of my church pastor's text me this week; "We can all start to feel alone, but we are all still together even when apart, zoom really helps with this ;)" It resonated so much with me and shook me out of my feelings of woe is me that I was getting stuck in that day.

I posted about my sleep routine here back in August 2019. That post was published the month before I asked my doctor to put me back on antidepressants because I wasn't coping well on my own while I was waiting for some more therapy. A lot has obviously happened between then and now.

This third UK lockdown is hitting me harder this time. It feels so different than the other two and things are a lot more of an effort. I'm struggling to get to sleep and as a consequence, I'm sleeping in later. It's also winter, I always tend to sleep more in the winter months.

It's been a few weeks since I've been back at work and out onto the world after the second UK lockdown. My anxiety ramped up the few days leading up coming out of it with a couple of bad nights sleep, increased heart rate and feeling like I couldn't catch my breath. It helped me to know why I was more anxious after the four weeks off work and the prospect of being back out in the world.