To work through trauma, you have to revisit the trauma. That brings up old memories and body sensations from when you were in that traumatic moment. As a result, I have been looking at ways to look after myself in all aspects of my life.

I’m making many changes this year in many different areas, at least for this first part of it, and I will see if anything else changes later in the year post-therapy.

It's been a while again since I posted on my blog. If you've read any of my recent posts or follow me over on Instagram here you will be aware that I've been struggling with my mental health again for the last year and that I'm also currently undergoing CBT sessions with a therapist.

I've really been struggling the past few weeks, I don’t know what mood I’m going to be in when I wake up and two Saturdays ago I woke to feel very anxious. I had my breakfast and did my meditation but then half an hour later while journaling I burst into tears. Even now I couldn’t tell you why. I had serious doubts as to if I should go into work as it happened about twenty minutes before I was due to leave the house. But I find that keeping the structure in my day and seeing and speaking to people often helps lift my mood.

May started out with my anxiety bubbling up due to work things. The company I work for has entered into voluntary CVA (Company Voluntary Arrangement) which meant for a few weeks beforehand the company was in what felt limbo to me. So many unknowns and things out of my control that it sent me into a downward spiral which was going on while I had a week off work to take some holiday days, which meant the spiral went down much faster than I thought it would.