I’ve not done resolutions for years and instead, I decided to switch to goals and that’s working much better for me. There’s less pressure that way, and as it’s a goal, I’ve something to work towards.

I honestly can’t remember if I made any goals at the beginning of 2023, other than completing therapy and making it to the end of the year, by making it to the end of each day.

The first episode is an introduction to me, the podcast and I also share my testimony. I thought that this was the best place, to begin with, a faith-based podcast. I’m going to be sharing all the things that I’ve been through since becoming a Christian as well as all the other struggles I come across along the way.

It’s understandable if you weren’t aware that I had a YouTube channel as until recently there were only three videos on there…

I used to worry that I had to post every week here, but sometimes that wasn’t possible for me to do, so I started to give myself a lot more grace and post when I could. Suffering from anxiety means that I’m not always able to post on any of my platforms because when I’m in a dip, my main priority is my mental health, my well-being and getting out of that dip.

In mid-January, I found out that the store I had worked in for the last fourteen years was having to close after the landlord wasn't willing to renegotiate a new lease from May this year. It was defiantly a shock to be told that news on a conference call with the rest of the store team and a few people from head office. As we were on furlough from work and not seeing each other daily, it took a few months for the news to sink in. There were initial hopes of reopening the store from April 12 for a closing down sale before closing down the store and sending the stock and anything else to the head office.

This post started as notes on my phone after chatting with a friend on Instagram back in June 2020. She'd posed the question on her stories a few days earlier about feeling the pressure to buy a home as an adult, instead of renting a place.

I replied with "It's what society expects; marriage, kids and a mortgage, although not necessarily in that order." And when she agreed I added, "So if we don't have one or any we feel like we're failing. Even though we're not."

Late last year, I was asked by one of the pastors at my church if I would share my testimony as part of a message where it would be an essential part of it. I said I would think about it as it involves domestic abuse trauma from my past that I'm still working through.

When I was little

I grew up in another country

I hated stairs

I ran around barefoot in summer

I lived in a house with a plum tree in the garden

Storms have a dark side. They can leave a trail of heartbreaking devastation in their wake, but they also clear the air. Before a storm, there is a build-up of pressure which is then released during and after the storm. I remember being in a pub in my late teens, watching a night of local bands play live music. It was in the summer and the bands were playing in a room was upstairs where it got so warm the fire escape doors were opened to let some air in.