I’ve noticed myself having feelings of jealousy towards women who have a boyfriend, fiancee or husband. Followed by thoughts of unworthiness because I don't have any one of those, and will I ever have that? Some days I'm okay with knowing I may never experience that, and other days I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me.

Will I be alone forever?

Even though it’s difficult to see if God works in the waiting. The waiting isn’t wasted even though it feels like it is being wasted. He is working for us in us and through us. We have to trust in him in those moments of apparent abandonment from him. So again hope in the waiting.

It feels like he’s preparing me for something although obviously, I’ve no idea what. Trust used to be the word that would come up for me so many times I feel I’ve conquered that a lot more this past year and past few months. I put in my trust in him daily and made a concerted effort to put my trust in him to switch my mindset to trust him to know that he has my best interests at heart.

A friend commented the following; ‘Power of prayer. Is prayer a moment of self-reflection which helps with your mental health? In a world where we never stop and think about things, does prayer help fill that need?’ I loved this suggestion! So much so that I didn’t want to rush into a half-hearted answer, it needs to be given time to give the topic justice.

When my thoughts are spiralling and my anxiety is beginning to overwhelm me, prayer helps me with my mental health as it calms me down when I pray. It re-centres me and brings me back into the moment instead of focusing on maybe’s and what if’s.

I’m so pleased that I’ve now been baptised by my choice, I was nervous before it but now, I am so energized!! I can’t wait to see what God does through me in the future.