One day a few weeks ago I was feeling undeniably triggered by some up and coming interactions I was needing to have. I may have been extra sensitive because of some changes going on at work, but either way, one day I ended up in tears. I was just so overwhelmed and unclear about what to do. So I cried. Then I journaled about what was coming up for me in those situations. I followed that up by texting a few friends who would help me at that moment and over the next few days on either side of one of the interactions I was dreading.

Some days I wake up and things are good. I'm happy, confident and feeling motivated while on others, I'm unmotivated, uninspired and so fed up with the current uncertainty. For over a decade I've been paying attention to my needs and taking things a day at a time, both practices have been undeniably helpful over the last twelve months. There isn't always any warning which mood I will be in in the morning which isn't helpful to anyone, least of all me. We've all had a difficult last twelve months, and I know that some have had it worse than I have. I still have my job, my home, my health, and my family and I have gone through the last year relatively unscathed compared to many others.

My sleep has also got worse; I was struggling to get to sleep, to stay asleep and I was waking up early. Definite signs that I'm struggling with my mental health are; disrupted sleep and avoiding things that I would usually join in with. I also tend to eat more treat foods than I should and definitely in larger portions than are suggested.

It's awesome that I have an amazing community of friends around me to support me during times like these although it's something that I'm still getting used to as I'm not used to it. They always check in on me when I don't join in with the Zoom's that I usually do and I'm so grateful that I'm able to start seeing some of my church family in person again at church because that really helps me and gives me something else to look forward to during the week.

Last week was a good week after a difficult week and this is another week that is a struggle for me. Some days are better than others and during the tough days and weeks, I know that they won't last and that one day or one week soon will be a better one. That I will spot the sunshine, sunrise or other amazing beauties from that day or week. It helps me to know that without rain you don't get a rainbow. All I can do is keep going and accomplishing what tasks I can and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.