Learning How To Pray

“There is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:42 

New Revised Standard Version

Hello, and welcome to the second episode of The Better Part podcast with me, Carol.  In today’s episode, I’m going to be talking about prayer as well as sharing with you, my prayer journey.

Last year, I asked on my Instagram and Facebook page what content those following my journey, would like to see from me.  A friend commented “Power of prayer.  Is prayer a moment of self-reflection which helps with your mental health? In a world where we never stop and think about things, does prayer help fill that need?” I loved this suggestion!  So much so that I wrote a blog post on it which spawned a follow-up and a third one is in the works.

One reason why I loved this suggestion was that I wanted to get better at praying, especially with it being so new to me.  

I started by asking myself a simple question; 

What is Prayer?

Looking up what the word prayer means, a dictionary definition says the following about prayer; 

“noun

a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or another deity.

Example; "I'll say a prayer for him"

It’s an invocation

A devotion

a religious service, especially a regular one, at which people gather in order to pray together.

an earnest hope or wish.”

So what it boils down to, in its rawest form is; prayer is a request for help or an expression of thanks addressed to God as well as being a serious and intentional hope or wish. 

Now everyone knows the Lord’s prayer from Matthew 6:5-15. and it’s probably the first prayer everybody learns as it's Jesus teaching His disciples, and us how to pray.  Like many of you, I’ve known it for so long but I can’t remember when I learned it.

Then there’s  - Psalm 23 which is another commonly known prayer from the Bible.

1-6 ESV

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

We have this outdated idea that prayer needs to be something special and done at a specific time, generally before bed. This isn’t the case. You can pray in the shower, while you are doing the washing up, doing the garden or while you’re at work.

In hindsight, I grew up with the thought that praying is kneeling at the side of your bed with your hands clasped. It comes from children’s books and I guess it's a bit old-fashioned now as you can pray wherever and whenever you want.  But more importantly, you can pray whenever and wherever you need to. 

Prayer is after all just a conversation with God, so why is it made out to be a huge thing? God is our loving father and we can talk to him whenever we want to and whenever we need to. He’s just waiting for us to speak to him to tell him what’s on our hearts, to tell him what we need help with and what others need help with as well.

He’s patiently waiting for us to have an exchange with him.

If we don't spend time with Jesus, then we end up being a riverbed that has run dry and ended up all cracked.  We burn out.  We have nothing left to give.  The trees and flowers that rely on our water start to wither and retreat.  If we are careful with the water we have and look after its source, then our river will never run dry.  And we will always have water to feed into our loved ones.  

What does the Bible say about prayer and how to pray?

James 5:13-16

New International Version

The Prayer of Faith

13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

So prayer can be asking for something but it can also be saying what we’re thankful for. 

Matthew 6:6 NLT

‘But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray for your father in private.  Then your father, who sees everything, will reward you.”

Earlier this year I watched the film War Room by the Kendrick brothers and I soon realised that I needed to re-watch it and make LOTS of notes, which I did.   I’ve added to them since as well and it’s such a powerful film as it centres around prayer and its power, how it changes us as well as those around us.

I looked on Amazon for books on prayer and I found that the brothers also wrote a book on prayer which I’m currently reading.  It’s called; The Battle Plan for Prayer.  I’ve been busy underling a fair bit in it!  

In that first prayer blog, I mentioned, I wrote; ‘By praying we’re opening ourselves up to grow, change and love by spending time with God and it helps to strengthen our relationship and communication with our heavenly Father.  If we don’t talk to Him through our prayers, how will we be able to recognise His voice when He speaks to us?  We need to pray so we can determine if it’s God speaking to us, trying to get us to do and believe things or if it’s the devil.  If we don’t recognise His voice we are more likely to listen to the devil and we know that no good will come from doing that.

‘Prayer is a weapon we use to fight the enemy, the devil who is always waiting on the sidelines to attack us.  He is very adept at knowing our weaknesses and just how to get at us so we must pray daily to arm ourselves against him and his lies.  Through prayer, God can align us and our lives with His will and plans for us by letting us in on some of the steps when it’s time for us to know them, and when we’re ready to act on them as well.’

How did Jesus pray?

Jesus prayed for guidance in places of quiet solitude. 

- it says in Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed”   

And in Luke 5:16 “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

Jesus not only taught his disciples how to pray, but he also encouraged them to pray together. Matthew 18:20 says “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Jesus prayed before a meal.  “When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them.” that’s Luke 24:30

He prayed for others; “I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours.” John 17:9

He prayed for us, ALL of us.  ​​“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message.” – John 17: 20

Jesus prayed to His Father often because He loved Him.  He prayed for many things including wisdom and guidance in His early ministry, for others to come and know Him as their Savior and Lord and He prayed for His disciples' ministry.  He prayed because He knew that His Father would hear Him and respond.  

How did Jesus instruct us to pray?

“Pray continually.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:17

2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and then turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sins and will heal their land.”

Luke 11:9

9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Around early 2021 I have records of  prayers for myself that included “God would you open the doors that you want to open and would you close the doors you want closed.” I’m unclear though if it was pre-or post-January 18 when I heard about my previous job coming to an end. I had no idea at that point about Revelations 3:7 which says “What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts, no one can open.” NIV

A similar verse in Matthew 7:7-8 says;

7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Prayer is NOT to be treated as an item on a to-do list that must be checked off.  But this is how I’ve been approaching it, instead, it’s time to sit and commune with God and Jesus with no distractions.

I have some additional books on prayer that have been recommended to me but I’ve not yet read; ‘Prayer’ by Tim Keller and ‘The Power of a Praying Woman’ by Stormie Omartian.

Colossians 4:2 NLT

2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart.

Luke 18:1 NLT

One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.

We need patience and persistence in prayer.  Delays are part of the process.  Remember, just because He doesn’t answer our prayers in the manner or timescale we want it doesn’t necessarily mean ‘no’.  But it can be difficult to always hold onto the faith that He has us when we’re in those challenging moments.

Sometimes His silence means ‘not yet’, other times it’s the wrong prayer for us.  It can also not be big enough of a prayer request, because He has something so much better for us than we could ever hope to ask for.  Or we could be asking for things at the wrong time because after all, it's His will and in His timing, not ours.  He knows the plans He has for us and He knows us best.  

We just need to trust Him.

Psalm 37:7 NIV

Be still before the Lord

    and wait patiently for him;

Modern society is so used to instant access to things that we’ve forgotten how to wait. “All good things come to those who wait “  which comes from the British proverb and originated from a poem by Lady Mary Montgomerie Currie,

Remember; His timing is perfect.  Trust him in His perfect time. 

How does praying help me with my mental health?

It calms down my anxiety by giving me something else to focus on.  It enables me to have a conversation with my Heavenly Father giving me time and space to be able to hear anything He may have to say to me.  It also helps me to remember that I’m not alone and that He’s always with me, at all times.  It gets me out of my head and allows me to focus on something else.  Something better.  Something more than where I am, my thoughts and the situation I am in.

I think it was earlier this year, on an episode of my favourite podcast; Mornings With The Masters, one of the hosts, Tori Masters, said how she had started to go to bed praying for others and how she had been having a better night's sleep in comparison to when she didn’t go to bed praying for others.  

I loved this idea and after trying it for a few nights, I slept so much better than I had in a while.  No waking up in the middle of the night or silly early morning wake-ups and it’s been helping me feel like I’m getting better quality sleep as well.  I guess it's because focusing on others gets me out of my head so I'm not replaying things that I mess up on from the day.  Some nights I'm better at it than others, but I give myself grace and keep trying.

1Thessalonians 5:16-18

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

We need to rejoice, pray and be grateful in all circumstances and pray our way through hard decisions

John 15:7

If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.

Mark 11:24

John 14:13 NIV

13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

1 John 3:22 NIV 

22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him.

1 John 5:15 NIV

And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

So we can ask for anything, any needs and wants, and doing that creates an open-door relationship with him.   But remember, if it doesn’t align with His will, it won’t happen. We won’t get it, no matter how much we pray for it.

1 Kings 3:5 

ask what you wish me to give you.

Some different ways to pray

There are many ways in which we can pray and this includes a couple of acronyms which are ACTS and PRAY, they can both help guide you through your prayer time.

The ACTS Acronym is:

• Adoration – where we praise God for who He is

• Confession – we humbly acknowledge your sin before Him

• Thanksgiving – We praise God for all that He has done for us and we express our gratitude for it

• Supplication – This is where we ask God to provide for our needs as well as the needs of others.

The PRAY acronym is one I came across while doing research for this podcast and it goes as follows:

• Praise – We praise God for who he is

• Repent – We humbly acknowledge our sin before God

• Ask – We ask God to provide for our needs as well as the needs of others.

• Yield – This is an act of submission to His will in your life.

I’ve tried the ACTS one in the past but for whatever reason, I’ve struggled with it, so I’m going to try the PRAY one and see how I do with that one instead.

We can write down our prayers in a notebook or on pieces of paper to tape to the wall or put them somewhere we will see them regularly.  

We can pray through song and worship where it can take two forms, either praying the lyrics of a song or praying while you worship to that song.  I do both of these depending on what or who I am led to pray for.

Then there are also prayer walks.  To get outside, go for a walk somewhere and pray as you walk.  Speak to God with whatever’s on your heart.

And here we come to my prayer journey 

My prayer life really started when I began to read the bible in the late summer of 2019. I had Post-it notes in the back of my journals of names of people and the specific prayers that I was praying for them.

Now, my first prayers of the day are gratitude prayers that I pray while I get ready in the morning.  This is a prayer version of a gratitude list and goes something along the lines of;  thanking him for my basic needs being met; for clean running water as well as the means to heat the water, the food that I have to eat, the means to keep the food cool as well as to be able to cook the food, my job, the money in my bank, my home etc.  

I mention things that I'm thankful for in my current life and the things that God has done for me in the past, how He’s led, guided, supported me, and put people in my life to help me along on this journey.  And that he’s always been there with me, He never left my side even though I didn't always know Him as I do now.

I do a second lot of praying on the walk into work, handing the day over to Him, that His will be done.  I ask for His help and guidance with customers and that He leads me in what to say to them.  I pray that He will steer me through any challenges that may arise and that they will have a positive outcome for all involved. As well as that I will be a blessing to those that I speak to during my day.  I got the idea of a prayer walk from a couple of ladies that I follow on Instagram when they shared that they do prayer walks during their day. 

During the day give thanks to Him, for any successful sales I do, and when something goes well or better than expected. And I also pray on my walk home as I show my appreciation to HIm for the day, whatever happened.  I give thanks to Him.

A friend suggested writing my prayers down when I shared with them that I was struggling to pray and how I easily get distracted and my mind would wander off part way through.  I began a prayer journal earlier this year which is very much still a work in progress as it will be for the rest of my prayer life.

I began my prayer journal by writing prayers in there that are directly from scripture.  Such as; “Lord, You know the plans You have for me.  They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give me a future and a hope.”  

“For I can do everything through Christ, who strengthens me.”

And, “I give thanks to you Lord and I proclaim your greatness.  I let the whole world know what You have done.  I sing Your praises and tell everyone about Your wonderful deeds.  I exalt in Your holy name and I rejoice You in worship Lord.  I’m searching for You, Lord and for Your strength.  I am continuously seeking You.  I remember Your wonders You have performed.  Your miracles and the rulings You have given.”

Thank you so much for listening to this episode.  If you think that this could benefit someone else, please share it with them and subscribe so that you never miss an episode.  And if you could leave a review that that would be awesome.  

I have a few ideas for the next couple of podcasts but if there’s something specific you’d like me to talk about from my journey, either DM the podcast on Instagram @thebetterpartpodcast or email us at the better part podcast at Gmail dot com. The links for both of those are in the podcast description.