How Do You Rest?

“There is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:42 

New Revised Standard Version

Hello, and welcome to the third episode of The Better Part podcast with me, Carol. In this episode, I’m going to be talking about rest.  I know, I know, I’ve talked about rest a fair bit over on my Instagram, and a few months ago, I began writing a blog post on the very same subject!

Rest;

As a verb: it means to cease work or movement, to relax, sleep, or recover strength.

Be placed or supported, to stay in a specified position.

And as a noun:

An instance or period of resting.

To relax, a period of inactivity, to laze, do nothing, pause.

How do you rest?

If you’re anything like me, you sleep in occasionally and binge-watch the odd tv show.  But I've been learning that there’s more to rest than that.

While researching rest, I discovered that there are seven types of rest!!  SEVEN!

Did you know that?  If you said no, I’m right there with you, I had NO idea! 

There’s physical, mental, emotional, social, sensory, creative and spiritual rest.  I was already aware of some of them, but a few did surprise me.  

Through my research, I’ve learned that physical rest releases tension and restores calm to the physical body and includes things like sleep, getting a massage doing some yoga, going for a short ten-minute walk, doing breathing exercises and taking a bath.

Mental rest is when you're overwhelmed and struggling to shut off your thoughts, so you do something to give your brain a break—things like taking a walk or journaling your thoughts. 

It gives your mind time to process information while making connections, so it's essential to learning and processing things. Have you noticed how much more exhausted you are when learning something new?

Emotional rest is needed when you get stuck in the yes mode, and you can't say no, or when you’re tired of projecting a specific image, pretending that everything is ok when it isn't.  You’re distracted and have a lack of motivation. 

Ways to help yourself are to look into removing the emotional triggers like social media and any negativity and to give yourself more space where you don't have to react to other people's emotions, where you can be alone to process your own.  

When you're emotional, your tolerance for holding in strong feelings is much lower, so you may lose your temper more, cry easier, and you’re physically tired.

Social rest is pursuing supportive and positive social connections, or it's where you take a break from socialising altogether. It's needed when relationships leave you feeling drained and exhausted, and some ways you can recharge your battery are by reading a book, journaling and some self-care like a bath and having a pamper session.

Sensory rest is when you give your senses a break as you feel overwhelmed by your senses constantly being stimulated.  If you're on the computer or phone all day or are watching lots of T.V., try to do something like a no-screen Saturday and avoid electronic stimuli.

Creative rest is when you expose yourself to artistic nature-based environments without feeling the need to create something - getting out into nature.  You stop ‘doing ‘and instead take the time to sit, observe, journal, and explore.  Instead of acting on new creative ideas and inspiration, note them down to work on them later.

I have needed rest from the creative process throughout my time at college and University while studying various types of art and design courses.  Sometimes going for a toilet break was enough of a change of scene for my brain to be able to come back to the project that I was working on and see what I needed to do next.  Other times I would stand outside for a bit of fresh air.

Having spent years at art college creating artwork, I was then creative in my work for 14 years doing visual merchandising, which included in-store displays, seasonal layouts, etc. Consequently, I was less inclined to be creative at home.

In that job, while I helped to set up numerous new stores across the country, I found that going back to an area I was working on after a short break was INVALUABLE in seeing what wasn’t working before I stepped away.

Spiritual rest is when you connect with something larger than yourself. It's needed when you're too caught up in your own issues and can't see the woods for the trees.  Spiritual rest is what gives our lives meaning and connection.  

This last one is the one that interests me the most as it's what I feel I've been being led to do all this year. It's just that I had no idea what it was called, and I also wasn't sure what it wholly entailed.   

How often do you make time to rest?

I know that sleeping is considered by many as rest, but a lot of people also need to rest in other ways as well.  I know I do!  

I need to wind down after work and before I head to bed to help switch off from the day. 

Restoring energy is the goal of rest, and it's needed not only daily but throughout the day and not just at weekends which is what some people tend to do.

Why is rest important?

It recharges us, mind, body, spirit, or soul if you like.

Just like sleep recharges our bodies for the next day, periods of rest during the day also helps us by keeping us rested for the busier times.

Everyone needs rest. It's that ‘you can't pour from an empty cup’ analogy. I know I'm the most productive first thing in the morning, and then post lunch, my brain tends to switch down a gear or two depending on how tired I am or what's going on with me.

Ask yourself the following questions;

How do I spend my time? 

Which areas do I most need rest in? 

Which areas am I mostly depleted in? 

I've discovered over the years that the rest I need isn't just physical, as sometimes I need complete silence because my brain is so overstimulated from the day, which equals sensory rest.

When I’m at work all day with the music playing and the constant traffic outside, I want some peace by the time I get home.  My last job was busier, with more people to talk to and more general noise, and by the time I got home, I didn't want to talk to anybody.  

To give myself sensory rest, I could try a weighted blanket or an eye mask and take slow deep breaths in the quiet of my home instead of putting something on YouTube or streaming a TV show.  I’ve gotten better at my slow start to the mornings, which I’ve been working on for over a decade.  Now I need to look at my evening when I get home. 

As I’ve had Insomnia for 14 years, I'm so used to being tired and not getting enough rest, but maybe I just wasn't getting the proper rest.  I can get some physical rest with a nap or by going to bed early, social rest is not seeing friends and not going out, and occasionally I get sensory rest by not watching TV or listening to music.

A distraction technique that I used early on in my mental health journey, watching TV, has now become a bad habit that I'm struggling to break. It's too easy to binge-watch things online, but it's not helping me now like it used to.  

I’m finding that sometimes. It’s overstimulating me, so it's having the opposite effect that it used to.  It’s more of a hindrance to me now, and some days I don't put any music on or listen to any podcasts, and I’m even reluctant to watch anything.  Sometimes I pull out my bible and read passages from a recent church message.

When I need a mental rest from all the swirling thoughts in my head, I sometimes wish I could take my brain out for an hour or two.

Regarding spiritual rest, I've been asking myself, how do I rest in Jesus?

Hebrews 4:1 starts;

“Therefore, since the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us be careful that no one of you you be found to have fallen short of it.”

And in Hebrews 4:3;

“Now we who have believed enter that rest,”

Society's standards of rest aren't fantastic. There’s that saying, “there’s no rest for the wicked,” which I didn’t know, but it comes from the Bible.  Isaiah 48:22 says, “But there is no peace for the wicked,” says the LORD. 

In some corporate positions, rest is considered lazy and negative if you’re resting while others are working. Why?  

Earlier this year, I started looking into Sabbath practices that I could do on a Sunday because I felt God calling me to spend more time with Him on those days.

I googled what it says online about Sabbath and things I could do and maybe not do, as well as reading the passages in the Bible where it mentions Sabbath.

I ended up with a list of faith-based things for me to do, which, as well as going to Church it, included watching The Chosen and The Story of God on Disney+ with Morgan Freeman.  I found this last show interesting as he travels the world and explores ALL faith's ideas of certain things like miracles, death and sin.

I also don't consume ANY secular content on Sundays, so any books I read are faith-based; any films I watch are Christian, and if I listen to music, it’s only worship music.  Which, to be honest, is what I’ve mainly heard for the last few years anyway.

I generally nap after lunch because who doesn't love a post-church nap?  I also write up my notes from church and sometimes do a bible study on what passages were read that day.

I’m trying to read and study the bible more, but I'm pretty overwhelmed.  I recently bought a new Bible, a daily one with a few sections to read each day, and I’m hoping that adding it to my morning quiet time will get me reading and understanding His word more.

My church has explored the theme of rest during August, and it’s been incredibly insightful. 

God created people on the sixth day, and the next day HE rested.  God rested as an example to us.   

Genesis 2 says in verses 2-3

By the seventh day, God had finished the work he had been doing, so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 

Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested 

The first thing man saw God do was rest.  But He doesn't have an issue with depleting His energy as we do.  Yet he still rested.  As an example to us.

This Sunday's message was on retreat.  How it can be seen negatively, but it can also be beneficial when used correctly and with purpose.  The dictionary definition of retreat means withdrawing to a quiet or secluded place to change one’s mind as a result of difficulty.  A quiet or secluded place in which one can rest and relax—a period or place of seclusion for the purposes of prayer and meditation.

We’ve all heard about retreats out in the country that help us rest, regroup and refocus, but it's not always feasible for us to do that, so what can we do from day to day when we need to retreat?

The leader giving the message talked about strategic withdrawal when in battle.  It’s retreating but for a specific reason of needing to develop a better battle plan than the one that's being used, as it’s not having the desired effect.

We keep fighting the same battles with the same weapons and wonder why nothing ever changes—asking why we never seem to win.

By strategically retreating, we can try and come up with a new plan—a better plan of attack.

This message was so timely for me because I’m going through some struggles at work where I need to do some things differently to improve, but I have no idea how to go about it.

As a new Christian, I’m so used to thinking that I control things and I can't seem to let go of things that aren't mine to hold onto.  It may also be because I couldn't control my life for so many years that I've since overcompensated and now try to control EVERYTHING.

But what I’ve been doing hasn't been working.  What can I do differently to try and get better results?

The past few weeks, I’ve been being led to read the bible more and to speak to my mentors about what I’m going through and not distract myself with binge-watching things, wasting time online or scrolling on social media when I’m overwhelmed, and I’ve no idea what to do.

I don't have to do it alone, and we were never meant to do it alone; God wants us to be in a community.  But I’m so used to trying to manage on my own that it’s such a new behaviour but I need to get into the habit of asking for help and advice from others.

In the NIV version of Matthew 11:30, Jesus says, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  The NLT version says, “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

This means He gives us a light burden.  We were NEVER supposed to carry certain things and most definitely not try and carry so much at any one time.  So why do we try?

What makes us think that we were meant to carry it all?

I’m so used to managing on my own for most of the last 14 years that, as a result, I’m still not used to knowing I have help.  

But I do.  I have friends,  family, mentors in church, and the best person EVER on my side.  I have Jesus.  

I’m so used to thinking I need to carry and hold onto things that it's no wonder I’m so exhausted and overwhelmed.  It takes more energy to hold on than to let go.  But letting go is scary, especially when we’ve held on for so long.

A few of the rest messages that my church has shared this past month have hit me hard, and the last one where the speaker asked those of us who were fighting certain battles to put our hands out and give ALL our struggles over to God undid me.  I was in TEARS.  

The message was about David fighting Goliath and how we all have giants.  Mine include some difficult relationships with family members and my limiting beliefs about myself.  

There’s a quote by Rita Mae Brown, the mystery novelist who said in her 1983 book "Sudden Death, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

No wonder I’m so exhausted and overwhelmed because I’m doing the same things and getting the same results.  I need to strategically retreat to rest, regroup and, more importantly, change my battle plan.  

I need to ask better questions.  I need to give the situation I’m fighting over to God. He’s waiting patiently for me to ASK Him to help me.  

So what’s stopping me?

Believing I can do it on my own. But as that’s not been working, I need to re-write my battle plan for the giants I’m fighting.

It’s what I do when I retreat that needs changing.  I’m far too quick to use distraction techniques of binge-watching something, going online or scrolling on social media that used to help me but now they hinder me.  

Avoidance isn't the answer.  

So what do I need to do instead?

I need to read my bible, and after having bought yet another one, that should help me as it's a daily bible.  God’s word is split into 365 days of readings and includes something from the old testament, the new testament and then something from Psalms and Proverbs.

Being a new Christian, it's overwhelming to know what to read in the Bible, so I do the easy thing and scroll on Instagram instead.  

I also need to ask better questions.  

I need to hand the challenging situation over to Jesus to carry for me.  

Thank you so much for listening to this episode.  If you think this could benefit someone else, please share it with them and subscribe so that you never miss an episode.  And if you could leave a review that that would be awesome.  

I have a few ideas for the next couple of podcasts, but if there’s something specific you’d like me to talk about from my journey, either DM the podcast on Instagram @thebetterpartpodcast or email us at the better part podcast at Gmail dot com. The links for both of those are in the podcast description.