It's been a while again since I posted on my blog.  If you've read any of my recent posts or follow me over on my Instagram here you will be aware that I've been struggling with my mental health again for the last year and that I'm also currently undergoing CBT sessions with a therapist.

I am seven sessions in and having them every two weeks, which is really working out for me.  Lockdown had gifted me time to journal and explore my past in between the sessions and alongside doing the homework from my therapist I'm understanding more why I was treated how I was by those who were supposed to love me.  

My last post on here was about the second birthday of this blog and that update was a couple of weeks late going up, so I've decided this week that for the time being, I won't be posting new updates regularly on here if at all until I'm in a better position mentally to do so.  I've got so much going on in my head and writing a blog post takes a few hours over a couple of days and unfortunately, I just don't have that time right now.

I've known this for a while but I just wasn't admitting it to myself.  I kept thinking each week that that week would be the one where I start to get back to posting more consistently, but it's just not happening, so I'm taking the pressure off myself.  My sleeping is much worse and that always has a knock-on effect to the following day, so as a consequence my anxiety is much worse.  It's a cycle of not sleeping well anyway, delving into my past trauma and having to relive it to understand it and look at how I can heal so then my sleeping gets worse and that all makes me feel crappy most days.  If you would like to stay up to date with my day to day thoughts and activities, the best place for that is over on Instagram, which I linked above.  Instagram posts are much easier to do as I have a stockpile of photos taken over the years which I can choose from if need-be and the text is much more about what I'm going through right at that moment and it doesn't need as much proofreading or editing like a blog post does.  

By the time this goes live, I may also know if the store I work in is one of the second rounds to re-open in July sometime.  The unknown about all this isn't helping my anxiety and it's something that I'm working on with my therapist.  Thank you all for your patience and support, I will be back, and in the meantime take care and stay safe.