We all know how crazy 2020 was and for someone like me who was already in a mental health dip, it was a very gruelling year. I know many people were in the same boat as me over the last twelve months, and now we have an enormous amount of boats surrounding us. There's almost too many to count.

So, I thought it might be useful if I shared some of the things that have helped me over the last twelve months as I've worked on my anxiety, depression and PTSD.

1. Therapy

In the summer of 2019, I self-referred for some more professional help for my ongoing mental health struggles. At that point, the list was the usual six-month wait from being prescribed another round of CBT and in the past, I'd managed to get it after a five-month wait. It took a little longer than that this time though and around nine months later I was still looking forward to the CBT therapy that I was on the waiting list for.

My first session was in early April of 2020 which was a week or two into the first of the UK lockdowns, alongside the whole world shutting down. I had phone calls with my therapist every two weeks as this enabled me to work on things that were discussed during the session. This also made it easier for me to try to implement the tools we had come up with, and in addition, I would journal a lot and I would then have more issues that were coming up for me to mention on the next call.

This set up worked out extremely well for me this time and the last handful of the maximum twelve sessions were spaced out at month-long intervals. We did this so that I could learn to manage more on my own as my mental health improved and to also help ready me for life after the therapy sessions had concluded and I would be having to manage without her assistance.

It's always such an enormous help being able to talk to a professional therapist as they can not only see things from a different perspective but they are also trained to give you tools for you to be able to help yourself. Along my thirteen year journey, I have needed different tools depending on where I was on that path. The aids I need now are a progression from the ones I needed back when I started on this journey

2. Antidepressants

I've been on antidepressants three times in the last 13 years. This time around I've been on them since September 2019, so almost a year and a half now. They help to regulate my brain chemicals until I am able to manage them myself through the tools learned from therapy. It can take practice as well as trial and error to find out what works for you, medication and tool wise.

I have no qualms in saying I have had medication for my mental health twice in the past and that I am currently on them. In 2019, I got to a point where I couldn't manage on my own and the wait for therapy was seemingly neverending so I asked my doctor for some medication. I always try to manage on my own before self-referring for more therapy and then if it gets to a point where I need more help, asking for medication. I think that this time I really did wait far too long to ask for more professional help of any kind.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking antidepressants for your mental health. If it means saving your life, why wouldn't you take them?

3. A weighted blanket

During the first lockdown last year, I bought a weighted blanket from Mela after a few years of debating back and forth about it being worth the money and also which one to get. There are a few companies making them and then there are different weights! It was all too much for me to get my head around! A few months into the first of last years containments after my insomnia got a lot worse, I decided to try one and I bought one from Mela comfort as an online friend had got one from them, they also have a 30-night trial and are UK based.

At one point during that first lockdown, I would pull the weighted blanket off my bed every day to sit or even sometimes lie under it on the sofa because my anxiety was so bad back then. It was a great help to me as I started to navigate a new life in lockdown, on furlough all while undergoing therapy for my past trauma. Because I didn't have any of life's usual distractions of having to pretend that everything was ok for up to seven hours a day at work, etc. I was able to focus solely on my therapy. This meant that I could dig far deeper into my past trauma than I had been able to do previously. As a consequence, all the feelings, emotions and my bodies reactions from the time of the trauma would resurface as if I was reliving them again and again and again every day.

I feel like the quality of my sleep has improved a great deal since I got the blanket and I slept with it over me even when we had a little heatwave last summer over here in the UK. Feeling the weight of the blanket on me as I settle down to sleep is a great comfort to me and enables me to feel safe as I settle down in bed.

4. Essential Oil Diffuser

During the summer of last year, I also bought an essential oil diffuser along with some lavender essential oil. For many years I've used a lavender-scented room or pillow spray before I get into bed but as the lockdown went on last year, I didn't feel that the spray was as effective as it once was. I know that essential oils and diffusers have been all over social media for a while now, but I thought that getting one was worth a try if it helped me not only to get to sleep but to stay asleep.

Last summer I was always waking up early and was often unable to get back to sleep or I would wake up numerous times in the night, meaning I was more tired the following day. Not a great feeling even if I was on furlough and didn't have anywhere specific that I needed to be most days, as it always made my anxiety worse and sometimes I would wake up with a migraine. Consequently, that day was a complete write-off and nothing much would end up being accomplished.

I set the diffuser going just before I get into bed before sometimes reading or writing in my journal before switching off the light. I also use a sleep eye mask as I find this helps to block out any distractions. I don't usually use one in the winter as only I tend to need it for the lighter nights and mornings, but I've found it's helped me settle down to sleep during this third lockdown. The eye mask is helping my brain and body to realise that it's time for sleep and then I take some slow deep breaths to enable me to relax more in preparation for sleep.

5. Calm App

I've used the Calm app for a few years now and I find that the sleep stories help to occupy my mind as I snuggle down under my weighted blanket by helping to stop any random and racing thought I may have as I compose myself for sleep. I started with the free version which has a few stories available to use but after using it night after night, I got the paid version as there are so many more sleep stories available so I don't get fed up with hearing the same few over and over again.

I have the volume on low as that I can just about hear it as if it's on too loud I end up actually listening to it and waiting to see what happens instead of drifting off to sleep. There are also various soundscapes on it that you put a timer on for and I've used these in the past as well, listening to the rain or the cityscape ones mostly. I put one of these on if I don't fancy a sleep story but still need some background noise to distract me as I go to sleep.

It's been trial and error over the years to find a sleep app that I like and that works for me. Even though I use the paid version, I can cancel it at any time.