I’ve been mentioning the last few months about something going on with my job, that there’s some stress and anxiety being kicked up by things behind the scenes there. I now feel ready to let you all know what has been happening since January. On a Sunday in mid-January, the store team got notified to all be on a conference call the following day. On that call, we were told that after almost fourteen years the shop that I work at was being forced to close in May when the lease runs out. There were plans mentioned to hopefully be able to reopen and have a closing down sale before then closing down the store and sending the remaining stock and the fixtures most likely back to head office.

I helped to set the store up originally in 2007 and my time there has been interwoven with my recovery from the abusive relationship I left almost thirteen years ago. All the staff in the shop and on all the shop fits I did over those years have all helped me to rebuild my life, my self, to heal and to grow. It is sad, that it has come to this as there are so many memories both good and bad and I am grateful for it all.

It's been a rollercoaster the past few months so some days are better than others, and although I wanted to tell you all, I wasn’t ready to. But after receiving the news from my manager a few weeks ago that it's all done and dusted now, I feel like I have some closure. I was called into work the day before he told me that to empty my locker so saw the store at the emptiest it's been in almost fourteen years. As I was leaving it felt like the last time I would be in there so it’s been an extra difficult few weeks for me. As a result, I decided to take a step back from my social media uploading plans that I had and have a week or so off from it, to rest and continue to process the news that we no longer have access to the shop. Hence why there was no blog last week and why I only uploaded to Instagram once last week.

I've had a couple of looks for a new job but I've not spotted anything that I'm wanting to do, and that I'm suited for. I know that there are a lot more people out of work at the moment due to so many businesses closing because of the virus so that it's likely going to be tough to get a new job. That is something that I am worried about, even though I know that God has me and that He's looking out for me, I'm still concerned that I won't get a new job when I need one.

It can be difficult when things change unexpectedly and I've struggled particularly with this for many years now. It's difficult to say whether the last year has helped or hindered my ability to cope with the unexpected, but it had defiantly made me come up with ways to try and deal with unforeseen circumstances.

I have a little bit yet until I will really be in need of a job as I'm still on furlough and I will also have my redundancy money, but I'm hoping to be able not to need to use any of that and I can therefore put it into my savings. I'm just having to trust that good things will happen to and for me and that I will get a new job within the next couple of months. Things happen for a reason and this is a definite sign that my past is over and that it's not an issue any more. That door to my past is now firmly locked and bolted. I can't go backwards, I have to move forwards to bigger, better and brighter things!