The Dating Game

I have been single for a couple of years now and while I was occasionally on a few online dating sites, I wasn’t fully engaged in the thought of meeting someone new.  I also had more work to do on myself to help heal the trauma from my last big relationship from over ten years ago.  I feel in a much better place now mentally to be more able to meet up with people I know of an online dating site. 

I am currently on two sites and have had very few matches (the story of my life ;) ) I think over the last ten year’s I’ve been on all the dating sites at one time or another. Some that are paid for (a waste of money but which are supposed to be really good *ahem*) but most were free.  I know how you get out of it what you put in, so it’s a necessity to like a number of people to work with the site's algorithm so my profile shows up in the guy's feeds. 

I was talking with a friend recently about my current online dating experiences and they suggested I look at it as the opportunity to meet new people and maybe make a new friend or two instead of thinking I'm meeting my next boyfriend.  Their reasoning was that it’ll take the pressure off the whole thing.  This time round I have had a handful of matches over the last few months, but for whatever reason a couple of the guys just stopped messaging me, so I unmatched with them after a week or so.

Or even worse, after we matched and I messaged them, (after a few hours obviously so I don't look too over-eager, but mainly so I had time to think of something to say) they didn't even bother to reply back to me or they just unmatched with me.  It most definitely is a harsh world out there this dating life.  It is slightly easier to be rejected online by someone I've never met than being rejected by someone who was stood in front of me though!

I have managed to have a longer chat with one guy and we managed to meet up a few weeks ago.  We met up on Sunday afternoon for a coffee in a local coffee shop.  We made plans to meet again this coming weekend for food but we said we'd finalize plans closer to the time.  This past week he's not been texting as much and I've initiated conversations twice, he said he's busy and I understand that as it's been Black Friday weekend where I work so has been a busy week and busier weekend.  But the ball is now in his court.  

If I don't hear from him, it's like the guys who don't reply back, it's their loss and they clearly weren't mean to be.  I find it tricky sometimes to come up with something to start the chat, it's all practice though and will hopefully lead to meeting more guys for dates as practice and maybe one for more than that maybe even a relationship.  Or it will lead to meeting a man in real life, (I KNOW!! Gasp, shock!!) that may lead to texts, calls, dates and who knows where. 

The whole experience has given me more confidence however and whatever happens, happens either way.  Each match, reply, un-match, non-reply and meeting leads me closer to my future boyfriend.  

I finally feel I am in the right place mentally and emotionally to go on dates and have a new relationship.